growing pains (no, sorry...not the kirk cameron variety)

hello loves! 

i know we are a week in, but i haven’t had a chance to properly ring in the new year with you all...so, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 

i wish i could say that my new year started out as clear & gorgeous as our seattle january 1 was, but i was unfortunately suffering a bit (slight under-exaggeration) from the shenanigans the night before...

(note to self: next NYE must be mellow!) 

so, i decided that i needed some extra time to clear my head & think about what is truly important to me in this new year & how to get off to a beautiful start. first off, a little staycation... i took the week off, which allowed me lots of me time & opportunity to reflect... 

(smart move, me! bonus points!)

so, here is where i ended up...

it's kind of heavy reading for a monday, but i just had to get it all out!

2012 was an AMAZING year. i married my best friend & love of 14 years and it was an incredible, magical celebration. it was seriously my dream come true - best day EVER. in retrospect, i see now that that one day consumed my entire year...truly. every bit of my energy and time was well spent and worth it for our big day, but it left very little time for much else. the blog suffered, my work suffered, my friendships suffered...well, you get the point ;) well, this actually led me to being really inspired & excited that i get a real chance to make some big, big changes this year! while 2012 was completely awesome, i am happy to put it to bed & move into a new year, full of opportunity!

i haven’t always made resolutions for the new year, but this year feels so different to me. perhaps it is because i am INTO my 30s & i am reflecting on where i thought i would be by now, maybe it is because i am married now... i think there are many factors & whatever they may be, they are all telling me that i need to do some major growing in 2013. the kind of growing that involves pain - the pain of letting go of things i like in order to move toward what i truly want in life. there are so many “things” (finances, productivity, etc.) i want to change in my life, but i am coming to terms with the fact that those things will never change until i change myself - my perspective, my beliefs, my actions. are you following? i know this is a wordy post... ;) 

so, though i have goals of the “things” i want to change, i am choosing to start with changing ME. I have narrowed it down to 2 major key characteristics or habits of myself that need to change because I feel they get in the way of accomplishing life goals. 2 is a small number, but these are BIG changes.

i do have some important blogging goals that i want to share, too, but i will save those for a separate post :)

1. i am a frivolous spender... i want to be financially responsible & successful... i will educate myself through books and online to reshape my mind & the way i think about money. i was recently very inspired by this post.

2. i am a big time procrastinator... i want to be efficient and timely and save myself from the pains of procrastination...i will just DO. let me explain ~ i recently had a day where i wanted to get some art projects going, but i felt both overwhelmed & uninspired...which then filled me with excuses of why i couldn't  do it NOW (story of my life!) ...i told my husband this and he said to me: “brynn, you just have to start doing something - anything - and naturally, things will start to get done.” sounds so simple, right? reality check: stubborn me said to him “you can’t just force creativity, though...i have to feel inspired.” well, what do you know...that smart, logical husband of mine was so right. as soon as i took out my art supplies and fiddled around with a few things, i was eventually, incredibly inspired! while i still believe that creativity can’t be forced, i do now see that it can be encouraged :)

i just have to mention one more thing - do you ever feel like you hear just the right words at just the right time? both in yoga and in church, the words PRACTICE and TRAINING keep coming up...

instead of TRYING to change or make changes, i am going to look at this time of growth as a time to practice & train myself and just enjoy the journey. it will not be easy, but it will be SO worth it.

have a wonderful day!

XO

brynn

p.s. thank you all soooooooooooo much for your lovely words about our style me pretty feature!!!